I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I feel like a drive thru vagina
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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