Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
