Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
