when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You ate ashes out of my bong
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize