i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
