you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
