i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
