Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
