apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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