Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
