I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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