so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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