i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
