You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
