I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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