I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
