Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
