Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i out mim tonsoeep
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