I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
did i just pee glitter
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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