sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
