I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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