super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
