was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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