Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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