Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
