I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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