is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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