i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
