Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I enjoy the company of your penis
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
