I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
