I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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