My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
