This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
