i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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