We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
