I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
