I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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