dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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