He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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