It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize