i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
