I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
