I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
