so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
