pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Randomize
