All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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