Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
