I think im going to throw up on grandma
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
