it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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