Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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