I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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