I must be too annoying 4 u.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
