Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
