im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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