So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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