You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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