all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
