if i can run in heels then i can drive
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
