You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
