Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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