I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
