Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
