so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
