she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is it because I queefed?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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