hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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